contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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the sports editor slips into the dms, quiet as a church-mouse them: "scuse me but are u a subject matter expert on...the buffalo bills?" me: "no my expertise is more along the lines of butterbean and the deadlift" them: "hmm...but nothing on the bills?" me: "nah srry"
several days pass them: "can you maybe pull something together on the bills? you live close" me: "i'm three hours away" them: "what about the bills team in tecmo super bowl" me: "i only played the wisdom tree games" them: "what about doug flutie" me: "no never"
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