Santa: – watches children sleep – forces them to sit on his lap – his whole job is to be judgmental – breaks into your home – eats your food – fucks your wife (this is speculative) I don't have a counterpoint, I'm just trying to show why Santa is creepy.
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Oliver Bateman Does the WorkVerified account
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contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
Washington, PA
Joined May 2011
