contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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There is no war on Christmas because Christmas is just some big retail binge on which the fate of the union hinges. Buy buy buy, kiddos. You can call it whatever you want, just don’t call me late for those door buster deals!
as long as people are buying crap, it doesn’t matter whether it’s “eco” or “green” or super sized. The war of ideas, allegedly waged at dinner tables per loads of spurious tweets about small-minded relatives, is another small storefront in the marketplace where we sell our souls
