contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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“war on Christmas” is a great hot take topic because it was originally some silly Fox News invention and as such folks on the other side can make 25 to 50 bucks punching holes in it as surely as Sam Sheepdog punches in to battle Ralph Wolf. None of it means anything, though.
There is no war on Christmas because Christmas is just some big retail binge on which the fate of the union hinges. Buy buy buy, kiddos. You can call it whatever you want, just don’t call me late for those door buster deals!
as long as people are buying crap, it doesn’t matter whether it’s “eco” or “green” or super sized. The war of ideas, allegedly waged at dinner tables per loads of spurious tweets about small-minded relatives, is another small storefront in the marketplace where we sell our souls
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