contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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my favorite thing about social media is how it lets you take any halfway reasonable cause or idea and use it to draw attention to your brand, your narcissism, and your willingness to say or do anything for even a little bit of that Venmo/Patreon “fun money”
Hate to break it to you, folks, but in 2020 Karl Marx would be hosting a dark enlightenment-adjacent redbrown podcast that is sponsored by meundies, and constantly fending off attempts by Buzzfeed reporters to expose and cancel him. I don’t make the takes, I just bake the takes
Want to ruin your idea or cause? Just let it become a talking point among creatives on the salon circuit in one of the “three real (US) cities” and pretty soon it’ll be as insubstantial and catchy as astrology, the tarot, or “turning yourself into a work of art”
You know why you can trust all this tea I'm pouring, kids? I don't need your money!!!
The narcissists shall inherit the internet
They already have. Mediocrity rules.
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