contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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let me lay a take on you: halloween is problematic. costumes are deceptive or too empowering to those with pretty-privilege. most candy is poisoned...by capitalism. bad boys will run wild, with their concealed identities making it harder to expose them on shitty media men lists
i want to cancel the halloween. i don't need it. i like staying at home and doing the work, dressing up my hot takes in the finest virality imaginable. i'm here for it. i never touch the alcohol. "lips that touch wine will never hear hot takes from mine" as they used to say
my dad used to say "go soft to go places," which is apparently now truehttps://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/laurenstrapagiel/heres-everything-you-need-to-know-about-the-history-and …
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