contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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Even if you don't have kids, you can write takes about how your imaginary kids were going incel and maga but you saved them by making them watch Nanette. "It feels so real," writes WaPo subscriber WineDadE. "By reading this take I have prevented democracy from dying in darkness"
"My imaginary children were beginning to get very un-woke, very Proud Boy, and then I made them watch sixteen straight hours of Amy Klobuchar speeches mixed with DSA convention audio and now they are so safe, catatonic even"
Probably the only kind of Take more fun than this is when you set up your swarty genderfluid Serbian child (a young Oliver Bateman you might say) as a kind of Jesus figure enlightening some lesser child who resembles Jon-Benet Ramsey and embodies toxic masculinity / gaslighting
Now they cry inconsolably when anyone says "guys".
I drown them a little bit each time they fail to say folks, it is called positive reinforcement
Playing fight song my daughter in the womb so she doesn’t join the deplorable choir.
That unborn child will have what it hot takes to survive in the middle class world of associate deans and redundant upper management
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