contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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You, like me, might not be able to skate, but here’s a performance enhancer that will help you play hockey. You: “ya I played division I hockey for one of those snow belt teams” Them: “o rly? wanna join my rec team” You: “nah I hurt my knee and gave up my dream forever. Sry”
Lying: still the best way to enhance performance, whether you need a 500 pound bench or something else that isn’t easy to quickly verify with a google search
