contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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ah yes, another take i forgot: "how much do i have to pay uber drivers to cover their faces and their smells around me, and that's okay, actually"
based on a real question asked to a friend who works on the uber development team
