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MoustacheClubUS's profile
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
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@MoustacheClubUS

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Oliver Bateman Does the WorkVerified account

@MoustacheClubUS

contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod ♉

Washington, PA
oliverbateman.com/bibliography/
Joined May 2011

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    1. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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      i was a debater for many years, taught debate and forensics, and can say this about the way we do these presidential debates: 1) there's no way to "win" them 2) at most you can mouth platitudes 3) people remember one-liners and weird facial tics/fashion gaffes and little else

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    2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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      moot court is a bland, boring format that favors fact memorizers with smooth-jazz radio host voices, like ted olson and ted cruz, but these roundtable debates favor goofballs who say wacky, meme-able shit. looking for "substance" here is a no-go

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    3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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      think about your own presentations. how well, esp. as you age, can you remember facts "off-book" or "off-powerpoint?" probably poorly. i'm good, v. good in fact, but nothing i say is as precise as if i were fact-checking it while i typed it. and so the debates fail here too

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      Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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      candidates, with the exceptions of these overpowering loony bin personalities, are interchangeable. at most they represent some local/community interest of yours, so you can tick off that box. the ones with truly radical policies will never make it to the big stage.

      7:44 PM - 9 Sep 2019
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      • Russ Smith Oliver Bateman Does the Work 💦Discourse Daddy💦 non-Euclidean Mark
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        2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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          and the idea that some candidate's policy paper or "command of facts" can make a difference...again, think about your own shaky memory, absent a quick trip to ol' wikipedia (which i vandalize so often my changes now appear in books) or politifact, which has its own odd agenda

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        3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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          much of this, in the "serious" elections, especially within the primaries of parties in which people agree on the basics, reduces to some debate about whether chocolate teddy grahams are better than honey teddy grahams, and you can't argue a person into liking honey teddy grahams

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        4. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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          besides, by the time your teddy graham choice hits the "mainer," they'll be so soggy and milk-drenched that you'll end up throwing them away, like your vote, and eating a couple ketchup packets and some ramen instead. or you can not vote, and save all your votes for the Big One

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        5. End of conversation
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        2. non-Euclidean Mark‏ @haircut_hippie 9 Sep 2019
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          Replying to @MoustacheClubUS

          I like Sanders to an extent but I’m increasingly aware of how impossible it is that I will ever see a candidate I truly like

          2 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
        3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 9 Sep 2019
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          Replying to @haircut_hippie

          you'll never see anything you'll like, but you can sell some hot takes arguing the salted gruel is better than the unsalted gruel, which has lost its savor

          0 replies 0 retweets 1 like
        4. End of conversation

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