Lengthy (and mostly fictional) inspirational captions written by Instagram influencers might be the most mawkish and barf-inducing content yet seen on this planet
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I don't care how you overcame your fear of your slightly oversized front teeth if the end result is that this has given you the courage to sell me unisex cotton/poly/spandex boxer briefs. I wish you'd stayed fearful
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People with nigh-perfect bodies opining about how they came to terms with imperfect bodily features like their 9/10 posterior or 8.8/10 calves or claiming to represent "body positivity at any size" while being juiced to high heaven on some cocktail of performance enhancers
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These grifters understand that late stage capitalism requires a tale of "overcoming oppression" in order to trick rubes and marks into paying more for inferior products, but their narratives are often so pathetic, forced, corny, and trifling
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I know some of these scoundrels, and believe me, they talk like chain smoking 1960s used car salesmen behind closed doors
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Replying to @MoustacheClubUS
Mister, we could use some chain-smoking used car salesmen, again!
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