contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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everybody is impressed in the bible when somebody stoops to wash feet but I'd be way more interested if they went around wiping asses
I used to wipe asses -- spreading dem cheeks! -- and clean up "excitement" all weekend long at the group home, and let me tell you, that humbled me way more than a bunch of shaggy-dog stories about washing the feet of some old bearded monks
I used to unclog very nasty toilets before that at the Golden Corral, but let me tell you, even that was no match for spreading them cheeks on a 6'5, 300-pounder and cleaning that stuff up
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