contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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I want some brand to say it cares about my right to be a filthy bum so much that they are absolving me from ever feeling the need to buy their hygiene products again..."because we care, you don't have to"
Joke's on them, though...I never buy brands and I'm harder to bathe than that obnoxious kid in Wet Hot American Summer
