contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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Also as much as all these razors and soaps love body positivity, they sure as hell don't want me to grow some long wizard beard or stop bathing like a hermit or stylite
I want some brand to say it cares about my right to be a filthy bum so much that they are absolving me from ever feeling the need to buy their hygiene products again..."because we care, you don't have to"
Joke's on them, though...I never buy brands and I'm harder to bathe than that obnoxious kid in Wet Hot American Summer
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