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MoustacheClubUS's profile
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
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@MoustacheClubUS

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Oliver Bateman Does the WorkVerified account

@MoustacheClubUS

contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod ♉

Washington, PA
oliverbateman.com/bibliography/
Joined May 2011

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    1. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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      tfw some idiotic awful celebrity undeserving of fame falls from grace because they're revealed to be the scum they always were (minus the fame of course!) and you score the first brand-building zingerpic.twitter.com/U5yTNtBy09

      1 reply 1 retweet 7 likes
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    2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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      come for the soft pseudo-politics, stay for the jimmy fallon-esque zingers: millennial media influencers making waves and winning hearts and minds in 2019

      1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
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    3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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      maybe one day you'll be famous enough, or at least extremely-online-famous enough, for someone to profit off bringing you down, and by "profit" i mean "post a tweet that gets a few thousands likes"

      1 reply 1 retweet 5 likes
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      Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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      my dad used to say that people who wouldn't help you up for a grand would pay ten bucks to throw the first stone, so there's that. there's always that. and i love it! i love seeing humanity at work, when even its seemingly "best" or at least "good" impulses are also its worst

      5:42 PM - 18 Jun 2019
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        2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          the number of likes a tweet, even a pandering and on-the-nose tweet, can get are finite, but the voids in our hearts encompass an infinite space

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        3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          do you ever wonder that? how "friends" who would never publicly acknowledge your existence when you're "up" or at least "doing ok" (and thus "competition") would race to cast the first stone the minute you're vulnerable, the minute you're chum in the social media water? i do

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        4. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          when it's a major celebrity, who cares, of course, because the price of being a major celebrity (but not a mega-rich person, big difference) is that there's at least a 50/50 chance you'll not only have a great fall but end up worse than you started. "the price of fame"

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        5. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          all of this has fascinated me ever since i've been a little kid and watched my friends and relatives quite literally pay for the privilege of destroying each other, all because life is awful, life is short, life is boring, so why not spice things up?

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        6. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          i've also been fascinated by people, like dennis hastert, who seemingly acquire power for a reason (e.g. taboo behavior, loathed by the multitudes) which they would go to any lengths both to conceal and to indulge: they'd split the atom, steal fire from the gods, you name it

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        7. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          my dad was no hastert, but when i asked him about the meanness in his own life, the sort of base impulses that prompted both material acquisition and allowed him to accept and enjoy the resulting great fall, he told me "people are just ornery"

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        8. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 18 Jun 2019
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          and for those of you who know how this goes, who know this is how the game of life is played but stay quiet, he would tell me the scariest thing is for you to "know someone else knows you know," the scariest thing in the world of hustling and lies is to let others know you know

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        9. End of conversation

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