"Aesthetics" is a fun field in grad school, interesting reading for sure, but a real-life "aesthete" who judges you for the vanity in your bathroom or the fact that you don't wear the "right things" to "parties" is not nearly so enjoyable
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if you're working 80 hours a week because you know what it's like to be too poor to pay attention, if your existence amounts to a brutal cost benefit analysis where every fragmentary reading or TV show clip could equal money, where exercising is to preserve strength to work...
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...then aesthetics, such as they are, will always be a very low priority. Insofar as I am cultivated in any aesthetic sense at all, it is solely to give my work a patina of "style" that can make it distinctive enough to enable me to sell more of it.
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