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MoustacheClubUS's profile
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
Oliver Bateman Does the Work
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@MoustacheClubUS

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Oliver Bateman Does the WorkVerified account

@MoustacheClubUS

contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod ♉

Washington, PA
oliverbateman.com/bibliography/
Joined May 2011

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    1. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      Want to bench press 600 pounds? Just tell people you do. Nobody’s gonna look that ish up

      5 replies 1 retweet 21 likes
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    2. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      Want to say you’ve sold a book? Just tell people you have. Only snobs check those book sales announcements and the sums are usually less than everyone likes to pretend they are, anyway

      1 reply 1 retweet 4 likes
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    3. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      Eager to visit countries? Just say you’ve gone there.

      1 reply 1 retweet 6 likes
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    4. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      Lying is still the most cost effective form of performance enhancement. Lie often enough and people won’t even be able to call you out for it, because they’ll be too confused and you won’t care

      1 reply 2 retweets 8 likes
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    5. Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      Big business deal? Print article with some legacy pub (Snobs still care about this)? High standardized test scores? Prestigious alma mater? Lying can get you all of these things and more

      1 reply 2 retweets 5 likes
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      Oliver Bateman Does the Work‏Verified account @MoustacheClubUS 17 May 2019
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      150 years ago, I could murder a family in one town and then grow a mustache, walk 40 miles to another town, and become the doctor/lawyer and eventually the mayor of that town. A golden age

      6:39 PM - 17 May 2019
      • 10 Retweets
      • 47 Likes
      • Josper Rope, Esq. zQQQQ Anna Mae Abdigation or cuddle death! crystal moth Liana Ambrosetti 🌸✨ (shows up 2 years late with starbucks) ✨🌸 Zoo Enthusiast Enthusiast 👻👻👻
      0 replies 10 retweets 47 likes

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