contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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Courtroom lawyers walking around in movies & TV shows is among the worst of the dramatic conventions. A real courtroom scene would feature some pillow-puffy, Trump-fingered, 30 year old chinless guy in a cheap off the rack suit. He'd be seated & mispronouncing his client's name
He'd have big sweat flapjacks under his arms and be shuffling papers nervously, the judge would be asleep wearing one of those sets of glasses with the eyes painted on, and the helpless defendant would be sitting there, awaiting his fate and fortunate to have a trial at all
The clerk (as played by Oliver Bateman from 2005-07 in Gary IN) would either be locked in his windowless office and fast asleep or dozing alongside one or two reporters who were doing likewise. He would be wearing the same dress shirt/tie for the fifth straight day
The jury would have eaten that rectangular institutional pizza with the gray cheese and pepperoni chunks, and the clerk (as played by Oliver Bateman) would have supplemented his low hourly salary by eating the leftovers
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