contributing writer @wearemel, @ringer, & @splicetoday. seen in @theatlantic, @parisreview, &c. repped by @inkwellmgmt. co-host of @whatisleftpod 
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If you're stuffed full of steroids like a butterball turkey but telling all your "followers" and "stans" it's nothing but your own private-label CBD oil, kratom, and "vegan natty" gains, you might just be a fitness influencer
another good one is "the steroids only help a little bit, it's all about hard work and diet and sleep." no brah, the steroids are helping a ton. jose canseco wasn't resting up or sleeping much in his prime, nor was "dynamite kid" billington, but they were certainly good 2 go
the steroids help so much you can pretty much subsist off a diet of them, cocaine, meth, grits (for calories), and da vinci naps ... just ask "superstar" billy graham. that's when the most grandiose thoughts come to you, after all
I once saw a female bodybuilder on Instagram caption her photo with “the greatest source of my inspiration and motivation is me”. I threw up in my mouth a little.
the ideal instagram feed is a mirror, 0 followed and 100,000 followers, nothing but your own photos and the "likes/mentions" they generate
Stans is a word I can't abide.
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