"My new media specialty is, uh, writing hot takes commenting on the stuff I see in my feed a lot. How about a lyrical essay on 'the implications and problematics of dril's extremely online humor?'"
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I took my big red rubber stamp and then I, a lifetime "all A" grader, a one-man diploma mill, gave this pitch the only mark I had leftpic.twitter.com/OOXbpo8AQr
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"Sorry mom, I'll come out of the basement in a few hours ... I'm on Twitter being a cultural critic, sharing some dumb bullshit"
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Back in my day, everyone knew Homestar Runner was puerile if enjoyable trash, because no former "ABD" people were claiming otherwise
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And Master Shake was just someone whose quotes made sense while on various drugs pilfered from mom's medicine cabinet, not the basis for a dissertation
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And bodybuilding? Well let me tell you, kids...back in the 90s, we kept our dog-eared, badly -stained muscle mags under the mattress next to our old sweat socks, fake beards, and other "paraphernalia" that adults might not look kindly upon. We certainly weren't "liking" it on IG
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If my mom could somehow be made to understand that I have since made four times as much from writing about musclemen as four years of UNC-Chapel Hill cost us, she would...I don't know, honestly. She still wouldn't believe it.
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