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  1. why did Barack Obama never just own his cigarette habit and get America puffing again

  2. "Colin was in the lacrosse game of his life" says a pround parent on the documentary abt the Duke LAX scandal.

  3. saying "it's an essay about higher ed" implies that it's an essay about how higher ed is doomed & there are no jobs & the students are shit

  4. the one thing i'll really miss about texas is all the parking. ... nah, i won't miss that. this place sucks.

  5. my federal reserve simulator/explainer

  6. "You are a liberal fascist pig and I would like to gut you like one. Go and crawl back into the vagina hole" is the best email I ever got

  7. more people need to adopt this dietary breakthrough, esp health-bros like &

  8. The piece comparing Bernie Bro politics to competitive video-gaming pathologies is brilliant

  9. here's my piece for on the nexus between the Berniebros & competitive gaming:

  10. my mom on "change from within": "Change from within is lasting long enough & getting promoted high enough to fire a few people you dislike."

  11. When asked to discuss the Dennis Hastert situation, my mom instead dropped the mic: "Why be shocked by it? This is extremely common."

  12. If it's before 3 pm or after 3:45 pm, saying hello to me is a microaggression. And lingering to comment on the weather = fighting words

  13. Other than the students, the faculty, the administration, and the exorbitant costs, higher ed is in great shape. Some super nice stadiums.

  14. "Amounts I Have Weighed" will be the title of my autobiography

  15. how 2 win in sports: tank, get #1 pick. trade for more picks nxt year. tank, repeat, trade all picks. trade those picks. keep tanking.

  16. the most romantic thing I ever did was never giving someone a book by a dudebro writer & saying, "to understand me you gotta read this"

  17. Oliver Lee Bateman followed , , and 6 others
  18. "sustaining student engagement in the online environment" o bateman & vs naipaul (2016). abstract: online ed is a huge fucking scam lol

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