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MorlockP's profile
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
@MorlockP

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ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

@MorlockP

Two-time Prometheus award-winning hard science fiction author. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JPPMS6  Learn how to homestead https://www.amazon.com/dp/B093BC3K1T 

Aristillus Crater, Luna
amazon.com/dp/B005JPPMS6
Joined June 2012

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    1. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      5/ So I drop $300 or so on a new cover, and another $400 or so on auxillary parts, spares, etc. Plus maybe $100 on shipping. Pallet arrives...and LFH is nowhere to be found. "I'll be there later this week".

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    2. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      6/ A week passes. Dude? "Well, I said I'd be there IF nothing came up, and I'm in NYC now." Me: o_O

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    3. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      7/ This repeats a few times. Him: why are you upset? Me: because you said you'd do it Him: I WILL Me: AND I dropped $800 on parts. Him: they're not going bad Me: No, but if we're not using them now, why did I already spend the money? Him: oh, you're short on money now?

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    4. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      8/ Me: O_o (This is a thing he does: evades responsibility by shifting the frame. Now it's MY job to defend whether or not I've got appropriate cash reserves to this guy? No. Not gonna play that game.)

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    5. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      9/ Me: The point is, winter is coming. It's gonna be cold soon and you're not going to want to do this. We've seen that every year so far. Him: It's only August! Me: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY EVERY AUGUST!

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    6. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      10/ Him: I don't know why you're upset. There's MONTHS left in the season. Me: It's near the end of August. You're not available half of each week. You're travelling for two weeks. I do the math and I start with about 65 days before 1 Nov, then I subtract, and subtract and...

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    7. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      11/ ....and what I'm seeing is that there are about 5 possible days left in the season. So that's why I want it done ASAP. Him: Well, I SAID I'd get it done. And I will. Me: <quiet seething rage>

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    8. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      12/ Me, mid October: so? Him: This week. Almost certainly. Unless something comes up. Or next week. Me, first week of Nov: <plots murder> Him, a few days later, at 4pm: "I'm here! With helpers! I knew you'd be really happy!" Me: <fakes smile, puts down butcher knife subtley>

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    9. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      13/ Him, 3 hours later, via text message: "ok, we just left" Me: What? I would have expected we'd review the work together. Him: I don't know why you want that. Me: O_o Me: <notes that it is dark, and wind is rapidly rising> Me: <heads out to inspect work>

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    10. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      14/ I find that the ropes that hold the sidewalls down are unsecured, and the walls are flapping several feet in the air. If left this way overnight the greenhouse will destroy itself before morning. ...so I fire up the tractor, load up a bunch of 2x4s and cinderblocks...

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      ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

      15/ and go outside to emergency secure the sidewalls. Work for 45 min by tractor light and flashlight. Walk into bucket forks FACE FIRST. THREE !@#-ing TIMES.

      3:33 PM - 5 May 2018
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      1 reply 0 retweets 9 likes
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        2. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          16/ Get job done...and win is pulling sheeting out from under the cinderblocks before I've got the tractor parked. Plan B: get some rope and lash the sidewall bottom pipes down to cinderblocks. This works. Walk into tractor bucket one more time. Am spitting blood....

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        3. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          17/ ...both literally and metaphorically.

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        4. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          18/ My text to farmhand makes it clear that if he doesn't get back in the next week to finish the job I may very well cut him into pieces and feed him to the hogs.

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        5. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          19/ He does show up and finishes the job, while grumbling.

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        6. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          20/ We're about to jump forward to last night, but first we have to jump sideways to a DIFFERENT story last year.

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        7. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

          21/https://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/983412006056288256 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs @MorlockP
          13/ Several times I've given in on some issue after telling him "no" six times. "FH, use nails" oh I think screws are better "no, use nail" why do you want nails? "they're code" you don't care about code, do you? Screws are better "please just use nails" why? Screws hold.
          Show this thread
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        8. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

          22/https://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/983412397070307328 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs @MorlockP
          14/ "just use nails; I already bought them" why do you like nails so much? "I assume that code specifies them because they have higher sheer strength." No, they're the same kind of steel. "I have no evidence of that; they might be a different alloy. So, use nails"
          Show this thread
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        9. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

          23/https://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/983412731830263808 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs @MorlockP
          15/ him: I think screws are better. me: !@#$ it, look, fine, whatever. 4 hours later: him: I used screws, like we discussed. me: I...I... me (whispers to myself) "I'd kill him, but there are basically no other options. Also, who'd dig the hole for me?"
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        10. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

          24/https://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/983413719169490944 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs @MorlockP
          19/ Yes. So now I've got decking screws holding structural members together, and nails (which pull out) holding barn siding down, which WILL try to cup as it ages, and which will pull nails out. FFFFFFFFFFFF https://twitter.com/plzbepatient/status/983413273167933440 …
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        11. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          25/ So anyway, the takeaway from this story is: farmhand likes to use decking screws, even when I tell him not to, even when they're the wrong tool for the job. Hang onto that fact.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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        12. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          26/ So now we pop forward to yesterday around 6pm, after work. I look at my greenhouse and notice that there's a small rip on one side. Well, it's Friday night, and it's getting dark soon. But I'm gonna deal with this first thing Saturday morning. I've got special tape, etc.

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        13. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          27/ I go inside, unwind with some bourbon, go to bed...and around midnight, in the middle of a nice oaky buzz, I hear strong winds. "Oh, F" I think.

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        14. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          28/ This morning I go outside. ...and I see something bad. This is the good side of the greenhouse. Everything there is solid.pic.twitter.com/3YDXUA9FmY

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        15. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          29/ This is the other side. I didn't take pix first thing because I was so angry that blood was nearly coming out of my eyes. But everywhere you see a red line in this image, the greenhouse cover (installed just a few months ago) was torn.pic.twitter.com/XB61TMvLby

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        16. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          30/ WHAT HAD HAPPENED? Well, look closely at how the film is secured to the frame. There's C-channel running horizontally, and the film goes over that, and then a long "wiggle wire" spring goes over the film. There's a stress point, I guess, at the C channel?pic.twitter.com/cKZzVS3OVp

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        17. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          31/ I'm really really pissed. Pissed at myself, because if I had repaired the small tear yesterday, it might not have grown. ...but then I realize that the small tear did NOT grow. These are new tears. The C channel somehow broke free of the horizontal black plastic frame.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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        18. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          32/ How did it break free? Normally I secure things really well. I investigate, and see that decking screws were used to secure the C channel. That's odd, I think. That's not the kind of thing I normally do. (I'm forgetting an important clue here)

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        19. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          33/ ...so I go over the entire side, drill holes through the C-channel, use bolts and washers to secure it, then only after that's done, do I start taping up all of the holes in the film. Dozens of strips 90°to the rips to stitch them together, then more pieces along the rip.

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        20. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          34/ In the end, I do a pretty good job. Unless you were looking for the problem, you'd just see a greenhouse, maybe not even notice the patch job. Here's the after:pic.twitter.com/a6puiD51Mu

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        21. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          35/ ...but I'm still beating myself up. Why the F would I have used decking screws? That's the kind of idiot move the farmhand does, but I was one who build the greenhouse (I'm still forgetting something). I'm so God-damned angry at myself. Tighten bolts before wrapping up.

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        22. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          36/ ...and then I see something. Here's the inside of the greenhouse. You can see the ends of the bolts that I just installed to replace the deckscrews. ...but there's a little clue. Can you see it?pic.twitter.com/SEsVpxUyHp

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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        23. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          37/ let me zoom in a little bit and use one meaty Italian-sausage finger to point to it.pic.twitter.com/U8YWTcM1CC

          2 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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        24. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          38/ What's that hole? Interesting. It's the exact right size for the bolts...did I drill this a few minutes ago in the wrong location? No.... O.M.G. Two memories come rushing back.

          1 reply 0 retweets 4 likes
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        25. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          39/ One: me building the greenhouse, and USING BOLTS TO ANCHOR THE C CHANNEL (that's what the hole is from: 2014 or so) Two: me asking farmhand to replace some C channel as part of the re-skinning.

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        26. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          40/ THAT GOD DAMNED PIG !@#$-er took apart bolts and washers and nuts that I had installed in order to remove the old C-channel, threw the bolts away (I'm guessing), and then reinstalled the C-channel...not w with the bolts...but with GOD DAMNED DECKING SCREWS.

          2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes
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        27. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted

          41/ 100% agreed. I'd decided last November, after that bs, that I would never use him again. This spring started thinking "well, if I ever need two guys at the same time, I can bring him in to help my new farmhand". ...then decided "no, NEVER again" https://twitter.com/jan30982573/status/992899654483312642 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          This Tweet is unavailable.
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        28. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          42/ Anyway, I've been insanely angry all day long. Not only did he waste my Saturday morning, not only did he half-ruin a still-basically-brand-new greenhouse skin, but he had the right answer right in front of him, and ACTIVELY threw it away in order to do the wrong thing.

          1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
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        29. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          43/ I've avoided beating my wife and kicking the dogs all day long, which is a decent accomplishment given the blood-boiling rage I'm still riding. ...but barely. I want to !@#-ing kill that guy.

          5 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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        30. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted

          44/ I actually had a headlamp I was using. The bucket forks were oriented at an angle where, viewed end on from the height of my eyes above the ground, they effectively disappeared into the tractor bucket 4 feet away. Never once walked into them side on. Always end on. https://twitter.com/magsinok/status/992902140359266305 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

          This Tweet is unavailable.
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        31. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 5 May 2018

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted

          Do you know what "nemesis" means? https://twitter.com/jan30982573/status/992902694451990533 …

          ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

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