I have a new farmhand story but I need to wait until the rage subsides enough that I am no longer bleeding from my eyes before I can tell it.
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10/ Him: I don't know why you're upset. There's MONTHS left in the season. Me: It's near the end of August. You're not available half of each week. You're travelling for two weeks. I do the math and I start with about 65 days before 1 Nov, then I subtract, and subtract and...
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11/ ....and what I'm seeing is that there are about 5 possible days left in the season. So that's why I want it done ASAP. Him: Well, I SAID I'd get it done. And I will. Me: <quiet seething rage>
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12/ Me, mid October: so? Him: This week. Almost certainly. Unless something comes up. Or next week. Me, first week of Nov: <plots murder> Him, a few days later, at 4pm: "I'm here! With helpers! I knew you'd be really happy!" Me: <fakes smile, puts down butcher knife subtley>
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13/ Him, 3 hours later, via text message: "ok, we just left" Me: What? I would have expected we'd review the work together. Him: I don't know why you want that. Me: O_o Me: <notes that it is dark, and wind is rapidly rising> Me: <heads out to inspect work>
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14/ I find that the ropes that hold the sidewalls down are unsecured, and the walls are flapping several feet in the air. If left this way overnight the greenhouse will destroy itself before morning. ...so I fire up the tractor, load up a bunch of 2x4s and cinderblocks...
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15/ and go outside to emergency secure the sidewalls. Work for 45 min by tractor light and flashlight. Walk into bucket forks FACE FIRST. THREE !@#-ing TIMES.
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16/ Get job done...and win is pulling sheeting out from under the cinderblocks before I've got the tractor parked. Plan B: get some rope and lash the sidewall bottom pipes down to cinderblocks. This works. Walk into tractor bucket one more time. Am spitting blood....
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18/ My text to farmhand makes it clear that if he doesn't get back in the next week to finish the job I may very well cut him into pieces and feed him to the hogs.
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19/ He does show up and finishes the job, while grumbling.
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20/ We're about to jump forward to last night, but first we have to jump sideways to a DIFFERENT story last year.
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25/ So anyway, the takeaway from this story is: farmhand likes to use decking screws, even when I tell him not to, even when they're the wrong tool for the job. Hang onto that fact.
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26/ So now we pop forward to yesterday around 6pm, after work. I look at my greenhouse and notice that there's a small rip on one side. Well, it's Friday night, and it's getting dark soon. But I'm gonna deal with this first thing Saturday morning. I've got special tape, etc.
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27/ I go inside, unwind with some bourbon, go to bed...and around midnight, in the middle of a nice oaky buzz, I hear strong winds. "Oh, F" I think.
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28/ This morning I go outside. ...and I see something bad. This is the good side of the greenhouse. Everything there is solid.pic.twitter.com/3YDXUA9FmY
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29/ This is the other side. I didn't take pix first thing because I was so angry that blood was nearly coming out of my eyes. But everywhere you see a red line in this image, the greenhouse cover (installed just a few months ago) was torn.pic.twitter.com/XB61TMvLby
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30/ WHAT HAD HAPPENED? Well, look closely at how the film is secured to the frame. There's C-channel running horizontally, and the film goes over that, and then a long "wiggle wire" spring goes over the film. There's a stress point, I guess, at the C channel?pic.twitter.com/cKZzVS3OVp
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31/ I'm really really pissed. Pissed at myself, because if I had repaired the small tear yesterday, it might not have grown. ...but then I realize that the small tear did NOT grow. These are new tears. The C channel somehow broke free of the horizontal black plastic frame.
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32/ How did it break free? Normally I secure things really well. I investigate, and see that decking screws were used to secure the C channel. That's odd, I think. That's not the kind of thing I normally do. (I'm forgetting an important clue here)
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33/ ...so I go over the entire side, drill holes through the C-channel, use bolts and washers to secure it, then only after that's done, do I start taping up all of the holes in the film. Dozens of strips 90°to the rips to stitch them together, then more pieces along the rip.
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34/ In the end, I do a pretty good job. Unless you were looking for the problem, you'd just see a greenhouse, maybe not even notice the patch job. Here's the after:pic.twitter.com/a6puiD51Mu
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35/ ...but I'm still beating myself up. Why the F would I have used decking screws? That's the kind of idiot move the farmhand does, but I was one who build the greenhouse (I'm still forgetting something). I'm so God-damned angry at myself. Tighten bolts before wrapping up.
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36/ ...and then I see something. Here's the inside of the greenhouse. You can see the ends of the bolts that I just installed to replace the deckscrews. ...but there's a little clue. Can you see it?pic.twitter.com/SEsVpxUyHp
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37/ let me zoom in a little bit and use one meaty Italian-sausage finger to point to it.pic.twitter.com/U8YWTcM1CC
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38/ What's that hole? Interesting. It's the exact right size for the bolts...did I drill this a few minutes ago in the wrong location? No.... O.M.G. Two memories come rushing back.
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39/ One: me building the greenhouse, and USING BOLTS TO ANCHOR THE C CHANNEL (that's what the hole is from: 2014 or so) Two: me asking farmhand to replace some C channel as part of the re-skinning.
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