2/ OK. I think I can tell the newest farmhand story without stroking out. ...maybe.
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3/ So, last year, the polyethylene sheet over the greenhouse had some defects (rope A broke allowing door B to slam in the wind, breaking pole C, which then got lifted up and over the greenhouse and tore up the cover. OK, crap happens, and covers have a 3-5 year lifespan. Fine
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4/ So around August the Old Lead Farmhand tells me "I've done task X, Y, Z, I'm about ready to replace the cover." I say "great! The damage also impacted the C-channel which holds the cover on, so let me go a bit crazy and not just replace the cover, but the C channel too."
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5/ So I drop $300 or so on a new cover, and another $400 or so on auxillary parts, spares, etc. Plus maybe $100 on shipping. Pallet arrives...and LFH is nowhere to be found. "I'll be there later this week".
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6/ A week passes. Dude? "Well, I said I'd be there IF nothing came up, and I'm in NYC now." Me: o_O
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7/ This repeats a few times. Him: why are you upset? Me: because you said you'd do it Him: I WILL Me: AND I dropped $800 on parts. Him: they're not going bad Me: No, but if we're not using them now, why did I already spend the money? Him: oh, you're short on money now?
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8/ Me: O_o (This is a thing he does: evades responsibility by shifting the frame. Now it's MY job to defend whether or not I've got appropriate cash reserves to this guy? No. Not gonna play that game.)
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9/ Me: The point is, winter is coming. It's gonna be cold soon and you're not going to want to do this. We've seen that every year so far. Him: It's only August! Me: THAT'S WHAT YOU SAY EVERY AUGUST!
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10/ Him: I don't know why you're upset. There's MONTHS left in the season. Me: It's near the end of August. You're not available half of each week. You're travelling for two weeks. I do the math and I start with about 65 days before 1 Nov, then I subtract, and subtract and...
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11/ ....and what I'm seeing is that there are about 5 possible days left in the season. So that's why I want it done ASAP. Him: Well, I SAID I'd get it done. And I will. Me: <quiet seething rage>
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12/ Me, mid October: so? Him: This week. Almost certainly. Unless something comes up. Or next week. Me, first week of Nov: <plots murder> Him, a few days later, at 4pm: "I'm here! With helpers! I knew you'd be really happy!" Me: <fakes smile, puts down butcher knife subtley>
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13/ Him, 3 hours later, via text message: "ok, we just left" Me: What? I would have expected we'd review the work together. Him: I don't know why you want that. Me: O_o Me: <notes that it is dark, and wind is rapidly rising> Me: <heads out to inspect work>
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14/ I find that the ropes that hold the sidewalls down are unsecured, and the walls are flapping several feet in the air. If left this way overnight the greenhouse will destroy itself before morning. ...so I fire up the tractor, load up a bunch of 2x4s and cinderblocks...
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15/ and go outside to emergency secure the sidewalls. Work for 45 min by tractor light and flashlight. Walk into bucket forks FACE FIRST. THREE !@#-ing TIMES.
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16/ Get job done...and win is pulling sheeting out from under the cinderblocks before I've got the tractor parked. Plan B: get some rope and lash the sidewall bottom pipes down to cinderblocks. This works. Walk into tractor bucket one more time. Am spitting blood....
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18/ My text to farmhand makes it clear that if he doesn't get back in the next week to finish the job I may very well cut him into pieces and feed him to the hogs.
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19/ He does show up and finishes the job, while grumbling.
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20/ We're about to jump forward to last night, but first we have to jump sideways to a DIFFERENT story last year.
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25/ So anyway, the takeaway from this story is: farmhand likes to use decking screws, even when I tell him not to, even when they're the wrong tool for the job. Hang onto that fact.
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26/ So now we pop forward to yesterday around 6pm, after work. I look at my greenhouse and notice that there's a small rip on one side. Well, it's Friday night, and it's getting dark soon. But I'm gonna deal with this first thing Saturday morning. I've got special tape, etc.
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27/ I go inside, unwind with some bourbon, go to bed...and around midnight, in the middle of a nice oaky buzz, I hear strong winds. "Oh, F" I think.
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28/ This morning I go outside. ...and I see something bad. This is the good side of the greenhouse. Everything there is solid.pic.twitter.com/3YDXUA9FmY
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29/ This is the other side. I didn't take pix first thing because I was so angry that blood was nearly coming out of my eyes. But everywhere you see a red line in this image, the greenhouse cover (installed just a few months ago) was torn.pic.twitter.com/XB61TMvLby
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30/ WHAT HAD HAPPENED? Well, look closely at how the film is secured to the frame. There's C-channel running horizontally, and the film goes over that, and then a long "wiggle wire" spring goes over the film. There's a stress point, I guess, at the C channel?pic.twitter.com/cKZzVS3OVp
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31/ I'm really really pissed. Pissed at myself, because if I had repaired the small tear yesterday, it might not have grown. ...but then I realize that the small tear did NOT grow. These are new tears. The C channel somehow broke free of the horizontal black plastic frame.
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