huge difference 50 feels public 20 is a large gathering of friends...but right near the limit _handwaves Dunbar number_
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At 4-7 you don't even need to say "guys, this is off the record". That's UNDERSTOOD. At ^2, you have to say it, but it will be respected. At ^3, you can't even ask.
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and "off the record" isn't my _point_, but it's a good example because it correlates with the thing I'm getting at - different sizes have different rules
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