2/ I remember reading some etiquette discussion board 20 years back where someone was arguing that a "money tree" at a wedding was just pure trash. It's not part of my tradition, but it apparently is in some other cultures...and so be it There is no objective one-size-fits all
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3/ Maybe some cultures want to give piles of cash to newly weds. Maybe other cultures want to give physical gifts. Maybe other cultures require the father of the groom to give gifts to establish the household. The way that these things get divided up is absolutely arbitrary.
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4/ One culture may have grandparents strongly involved in raising grandkids (passing forward the gift of labor that they themselves received when they were young parents). Other cultures may NOT have that norm.
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5/ Saying "anyone who does not arrange obligations in EXACTLY THE WAY THAT I CONSIDER NORMAL is absolute human garbage" is provincial, ignorant, obnoxious, and sticking their nose in other people's business.
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Grandparents have obligations to grandchildren, just like parents have obligations to children. They aren't as severe, but they do exist. Viewing the totality of family life through the prism of economic exchange is pretty vile.
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I can see both sides. Yeah, expecting free labor is generally bad. But in many cases this is more like boomers revising the (implicit) rules of the game to favor themselves, as they do in politics. They got support as parents from local family networks they refuse to pay forward.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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Can't have a very pro-natal society without a belief in duty to help your children with their children. It's just a huge practical thing.
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Btw, one big problem is high child-bearing age. 80 yo grandma obviously can't be much help.
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