>me: ok gonna apply for mortgage pre-approval. should be easy my finances are fine >bank: please provide us with the phone number of your employer >2022 and i work for an internet startup >even previous giant employer had no obvious phone number dream over guys pack it up
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>"what is your monthly income" >ok its complicated, so youve got my base salary here, but a large portion of my compensation is in the form of options, which seem speculative and illiquid but listen lets talk about early conversion and tax mitigation strategies, im ngmi
33 replies 0 retweets 327 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @eigenrobot
Explaining my income to a mortgage person the other day I believe I said "Now here's the really fun part..."
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Replying to @ByrneHobart @eigenrobot
They do lots of weird and gameable stuff; brokerage accounts are valued at less than checking accounts, so you can increase your measured assets by taking out a temporary margin loan and moving the cash to your bank. (I did not do this.)
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Replying to @ByrneHobart
oh ffs well that's good to know maybe i pull the down payment out of short term bonds and drop it back in my 0% checking account for the purposes of applying
any other tricks?2 replies 0 retweets 12 likes -
Replying to @eigenrobot
Pay down credit cards to optimize debt/income ratio, but (just in case) don't pay your taxes early if you expect to owe them, since taxes due are not a category they seem to ask about. The usual credit score optimization also helps.
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Replying to @ByrneHobart @eigenrobot
A lot of the stuff I've learned is specific to the self-employed. e.g. apparently it was a bad idea to deduct lots of expenses, and if I had increased my taxable income (i.e. reduced the after-tax income used to pay the mortgage!!!) I would have gotten a better deal.
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Replying to @ByrneHobart @eigenrobot
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,
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Replying to @MorlockP @eigenrobot
My new meta theory is that they allow some gaming of standards because the people who do that are less likely to default than someone of equivalent assets who doesn't game the system; they're doing this kind of thing all the time!
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Replying to @ByrneHobart @eigenrobot
"sure, he's doing 95, but he's got TWO radar detectors and a laser detector ...he's safe"
1 reply 0 retweets 8 likes
also, watch some of the Vinwiki youtube channel videos about the Cannonball run these guys are INSANE
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i hope one day the footage of the record cannonball runs during covid are released
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