Helping my wife negotiate something. Her: "I've never gotten XXX before!" Me: "That's because you've never asked for it."
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6/ tired: if you never miss an airplane you're spending too much time at airports wired: if you never lose a contract bc your rates are too high, you're spending too much time working for too little money
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7/ good side thread from
@asymmetricinfohttps://twitter.com/asymmetricinfo/status/1443945129279115267 …Show this thread -
8/ a few thoughts: * I absolutely think that men and women are judged different for the exact same behavior. A guy can do a typical woman thing and appear weak / cringe / ghey, a woman can do a typical male thing and be seen as a harridan / ball-buster / overly brusque.
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9/ and whether that's wonderful bc vive la différence, or terrible bc unfair, I have no opinion. It is what it is. But another point: * I'm not sure that what Megan thinks "how guys negotiate" is necessarily how they negotiate. There's selection bias. STORIES about >>>
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10/ how guys negotiate are going to be selected by the guys telling the stories, and thus are part of a game of signalling. Every fish gets larger in the retelling. Every negotiation that goes well gets retold. Those that flame out do not make good stories.
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11/ I think that when people operate in their comfort zone they have good knowledge of the boundaries, and know the difference between pushing them a bit, and blowing through them. When people operate outside their comfort zones, those subtleties become invisible.
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12/ A few key points about negotiation: * you can never do better than the other side's BATNA. If all of the other carpenters are quoting $40-50/hr, you can maybe get 50 or even 51, but not 90. * it's super important to create euvoluntary trades ("absence of regret")
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13/ To expand on that last: there is a certain amount of meat on the platter. I encourage you to get half of it ... maybe even 60% of it. ...but don't take all of it. You want the other party to be glad that he did business with you, & not nurse a grudge ITERATED game theory
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14/ 100% agree with thishttps://twitter.com/asymmetricinfo/status/1443948170367676417 …
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15/ good insight (and, fwiw, my dad was a professional contract negotiator too, and it's a reall thing, and a real set of skills, and where I learned much of what I know)https://twitter.com/kdominus/status/1443947596939243520 …
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17/ ok, build / CI is done running, so I've gotta get back to work parting thoughts for the home audience: 1) read "Getting to Yes" https://www.amazon.com/Getting-Yes-Negotiating-Agreement-Without/dp/0143118757/ … 2) ... and also my thoughts in "Escape the City"https://www.amazon.com/Escape-City-1-Travis-Corcoran/dp/B093BC3K1T …
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18/ ok, a quick moment between CI runs: anti-fragility makes it much easier to ask for higher numbers if you're living paycheck to paycheck and NEED to bill 40 hours next week to make the rent, you are trapped at a local optima where you can't risk even a 1% chance of losing >
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19/ a client, even if there is a 90% chance that you can increase your rate by 20% negotiate from a position of strength and an ability to deal with high[er] variance
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22/ re "position of strength" >>>https://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/1443953621155069959 …
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23/ this may be the best dramatic monologue on financial planning and risk taking ever I watch it again every few weekshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rJjKP8vYjpQ …
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End of conversation
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