#barnlaw update
Zonging board meeting. ZBA stood by its issuance of a variance, while reading aloud a memo they received from the town attorney 3 minutes earlier which purported to "explain" their "thinking".
Reading it like Iran Embassy hostages w a gun to their heads.
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7/ But the long and the short of it is that they're not re-voting. They're not punting the application because it's incomplete. They're not pulling an "unknown unknown" (my one big fear). They are affirming and explaining their decision.
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8/ prong 1: public interest "People are allowed to have garages. Corcoran says that it's an illegal garage, but a garage is a legal kind of building. Also, let's be clear, Corcoran says it's a steel building, but the ZBA has no ability to speak to the kinds of materials, so..."
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9/ "Would any board member like to add anything?" BASED BOARD MEMBER M_____ CLEARS HIS THROAT
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10/ "I am very angry at all of this. Saying that this is the sense of the board. I don't agree with any of this. It's really clear that they caused their own hardship, and that's why I voted against it, and why I'm still against it!"
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11/ "...so don't say that the BOARD says this and that, because the BOARD does not" attorney: "Malcolm, if I could speak to that -" "NO, YOU CAN NOT. THIS IS A CLOSED MEETING. THIS IS JUST FOR THE BOARD TO DISCUSS."
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12/ "This barn isn't an industrial building, it's a barn. And it's OK to have a barn, and as far as the distances from the road? The ordinance is to protect the historic nature of the neighborhood, and lots of the historic houses are set back just 30 feet, so it's the same.
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13/ Doug told me he'd been out front of the building before the meeting, and the atty got there 5 min before I did, and handed out the papers to the ZBA. She wrote it all herself last minute, and the ZBA had never seen it before. This is why Jack is lost with the numbering.
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14/ So it continues like this. And Malcom has several more angry outbursts, saying that this is bullshit. At one point the one woman on the ZBA opens her mouth. and holy !@# She's dumber than Mrs Barnneighbor.
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15/ One rando on the ZBA adds helpfully "as far as, you know, voting for setbacks - I've voted on lots of other setbacks just like this, so it's in keeping with those other setbacks I've voted on". TLDR: "I am willing to break the law this time, because I always do!!!"
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16/ so we work down the list to hardship and the atty has, again, done the absolute best she can with this !@# show
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17/ Jack's reading "Corcoran says that Barnneighbor said in court there are other places where Barnneighbor could have built the building, but we looked at those places." Stupid woman interjects: "yes, I've looked at those other places myself"
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18/ Some autist in the audience bellows out "was that at the OFFICIAL site visit, or at the SECRET ONE three days later?" The board and the attorney all shush me.
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19/ but you know I had PLANNED this that's how autists do even our "spontaneous" ejaculations are planned ...and now it's on the audio, for everyone to hear.pic.twitter.com/mEzkE673GW
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20/ Jack gets back on track. "Corcoran says that there are other places where Duquette could have built the building, but we looked at those places. ...and he says that Duquette admitted to this in court. But we looked at these other locations. And they're impossible.
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21/ One would require moving power lines, that's impossible because it would cost money. Another one would require moving the propane tank, so there's obviously a cost associated with that. And as far as the back of the property- to get there, you'd have to move the dog kennel"
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23/ "and as to the downhill side of the property, that would involve cutting down trees." at this point, I'm !@#-ing grinning smile 30" wide and so is dissenting board member Malcolm because it's such a !@# show OH NOZ! IMPOSSIBLE TO CUT DOWN TREES!!!!
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24/ "that would involve cutting down trees" Malcolm and I catch each other's eyes, and we both have to stifle ourselves to stop from laughing out loud.
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25/ Anyway, I !@#-ing love that they atty and the ZBA are trying to paper over not just their own mistakes ...but BARNNEIGHBOR'S TESTIMONY IN COURT
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26/ Oh, forgot one great great bit Malcolm: this document seems more like some lawyer stuff in case we get sued than it is "the thinking of this board"
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27/ well, actually, the events were this: 1) barnneighbor in court a year ago VOLUNTEERED "oh, there are other legal places I could build it" 2) I, in ZBA meeting 3 months ago quoted him 3) last night ZBA quoted me and added "...yes, but ...not really"https://twitter.com/longstoryfarms/status/1422918041508139011 …
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End of conversation
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