Ooof, I'm so sorry about that, too. A much older friendship than the one here, and that's rough. You'd think people would try to scrute at least a little bit.
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Replying to @TheAgeofShoddy @kendrictonn
Yeah, I didn't worry that it was me. In this one particular case, she and I had dated, briefly, freshman yr of college (1988), she dumped me, and then went on to get married and divorced twice. Last we hung out, ~5 yrs ago, she visited the farm, met my wife >>>
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and said in a very odd tone of voice "I'm so happy for you!", as if there was some deep sadness beneath. One possible story I've told myself is that while she never wanted to get back w me, she had my former interest in her back pocket as some sort of yard stick, and >>>
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I think this is quite plausible. In her 20s and 30s I got the feeling that she looked down on me for my boring software cube jobs. 50 hrs/week, year in and year out. While she was backpacking, being a mayfly, travelling. And now we're both c. 50 yo and I live in >>>
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Replying to @MorlockP @Jestocost3 and
a huge house, amidst the nature that she loves (bio undergrad + grad school). She had fun for decades ... and now is 15 years away from (NOMINAL) retirement, has nothing, and lives in a dense area with no resources.
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Replying to @Jestocost3 @MorlockP and
I had similar encounters as early as my mid-20s; I almost think it's something in the other direction--sometimes when you reveal yourself to be prudent, you're also revealing that you don't care about class shibboleths related to 'the struggle is real'.
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Replying to @Halikaarn1an @Jestocost3 and
Like, they could totally have what you have, but they don't even want it.
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don't even want it / didn't even want it I can tell a story (not sure if I'm right) where K. enjoyed her life all along, but now feels like the grasshopper looking at the ant as winter winds start to blow
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Replying to @MorlockP @Jestocost3 and
Yeah, that certainly happens, but there's also a version where by even preparing for winter early on, your reveal yourself to be unconfident in climbing the slippery pole.
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