reviewing friends' feedback re Kickstarter essay - add more biographical details to make story "real" and particular - take out biographical details to make it easier for people to picture themselves - explain that you're a coder, "one of us" - remove "startups", no one cares
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go not to the internet for counsel
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No contradiction here imo: The word “authentic” is inauthentic.
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Maybe note that in the middle there will be a tasteful, not-too-graphic love scene in the barn as a couple of horses look on.
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