Of course most of the things that people have a resistant bitterness to taking steps to achieve the steps have a much more abstract and/or stochastic relationship to the desiderata
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If you want to win at poker you have to play a lot of hands. You won’t win most hands you play. So if you want to win at poker you have to lose a lot of hands. If you don’t have the right mindset this is intractably frustrating. Is the right mindset trainable? Generalizable?
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Replying to @drethelin
salesman / PUA mindset "get hung up on 100 times", "fail to number close 100 times", etc.
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Replying to @MorlockP
You have to simultaneously care and not care. Care enough about the end goal to not care about the intermediate failures maybe
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There’s also the conflict between “I am good enough and deserve x!” And “I am not good enough and don’t deserve x!”
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Replying to @drethelin @ngvrnd
2x2 matrix: "I'm not good enough and I will deserve it ... once I pass the test".
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Yeah but are you good enough to even attempt the test? Many such cases
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Replying to @drethelin @ngvrnd
staged tests this is well developed social tech (which we're drifting away from) Boy Scouts perfected this, btw 11 yo kid vaguely dreams of becoming Eagle Scout, intensely plans to be Tenderfoot, laser focuses on the first of 3 merit badges he needs to get there
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the military "gamified" stuff millenia ago we need to get back to that !
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Boy Scout badges but for learning to code, talking to girls, and reading history
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If the Boy Scouts succeeded at their job, girls talked to the boys of their own volition. Exuding confidence, masculinity, self-control, etc. have always been popular traits to foster.
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