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134/ When the reader's attention is drawn, via the "camera", to the "maroon loincloth draped from his belt", our attention is focused there. What's the hero's attention focused on? OH, JUST THE DEMON THAT'S TRYING TO KILL HIM. This focus mismatch is excruciating.
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135/ ok, I gotta stop with the Burger University Remote Learning Class - I've only written 2,500 words today and need to get back to it.
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136/ a reminder: we read and analyze and criticize terrible fiction not to hurt anyone's feelings, but to learn from it - what mistakes bad authors make, and thus how we can avoid thempic.twitter.com/QrbPVvYmuv
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137/ > as long as there's an audience Didn't you read the part where I analyzed his sales numbers? He basically doesn't have an audience. Learning how to write could change that. https://twitter.com/SherlockTowers/status/1253100001749762049?s=19 …
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