121/ ok, pop quiz: was the cross red, the gunbelt brown, the power armor gun metal gray, and the loincloth maroon, or was the armor gray, the belt red, the cross maroon, and the cross brown? answer: it doesn't matter, not at all, and so every word of description was wasted
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132/ another when Linda Haig looks down at her watch, so does the reader PoVhttps://twitter.com/MorlockP/status/1253049503395045380 …
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134/ When the reader's attention is drawn, via the "camera", to the "maroon loincloth draped from his belt", our attention is focused there. What's the hero's attention focused on? OH, JUST THE DEMON THAT'S TRYING TO KILL HIM. This focus mismatch is excruciating.
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135/ ok, I gotta stop with the Burger University Remote Learning Class - I've only written 2,500 words today and need to get back to it.
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136/ a reminder: we read and analyze and criticize terrible fiction not to hurt anyone's feelings, but to learn from it - what mistakes bad authors make, and thus how we can avoid thempic.twitter.com/QrbPVvYmuv
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137/ > as long as there's an audience Didn't you read the part where I analyzed his sales numbers? He basically doesn't have an audience. Learning how to write could change that. https://twitter.com/SherlockTowers/status/1253100001749762049?s=19 …
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