104/ maybe they were orangepic.twitter.com/QCJaojFlx3
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115/ This is pretty decent. As I wrote I tried to set each scene and PoV hard in the first paragraph. I aimed to always deliver the PoV character's name and then had that character observe at least two sensory details about the scene.https://twitter.com/Laserpig_Utopia/status/1253048365752909824 …
116/ The sky above the spaceport was as black as a freshly bored lunar tunnel before the lights were installed. Earth hung overhead, the once-bright cities...glowing dimly w low-energy bulbs and rolling brown-outs. Except California. California was dark. Mike Martin squinted
117/ chapter 2: The taupe-carpeted corridor that ran down the center of the West Wing was quiet. Senator Linda Haig looked at her watch. Almost half an hour late. Hardly surprising; that woman was never -
118/ chapter 3 Allan looked up. The next handhold was just a short reach up the wall. He stretched for it - and the suit alarm went off. Damn it. He silenced the warble tone, cleared the flashing "overheating"
119/ Each of these has a few adjectives, a few sensory images. Chapter 1 is a bit of an outlier, with more detail than the others, because I have to drop the reader in media res, explaining a moon colony, an Earth in economic decline, etc. all in 1 paragraph.
120/ Chapter 2 announces "taupe carpeted...West Wing... quiet". Tell me you didn't fill in the off-white walls, the wainscotting, the tasteful end tables with lamps, the plaster work on the ceiling. I said enough ; you pictured it.
121/ Chapter 3, mountain climbing on the moon - you've seen Apollo photos. You've seen rock climbing. You've seen bulky space suit gloves. You can supply the dust being knocked off of the stone finger holds, the chalky gray / white rocks, the dark clefts. I don't need to.
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