41/ I read bad author's first novel. I thought it wasn't bad, for a pastiche of bad pulp writing. It was only when I started reading a second novel by him that I realized that it wasn't a joke, it wasn't a pastiche, it wasn't a parody - it was serious.
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52/ These numbers aren't precise, and are gathered from a few sources, but they mostly check out looking at my own sales and those of fellow author friends. E.g. my first novel https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JPPMS6 has a sales rank of #12,769 which predicts around 20 sales/day >>>
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53/ and I sold 30 copies 2 days ago (a very big, outlier day) and 20 copies yesterday so ... reasonably tight fit
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54/ B.A. has a sales rank of #183,573 on the quoted book, which works out to ... about 0.9 sales per day. The ebook sells for 99 cents. He gets a 30 cent royalty on that. So he's selling ~25 copies per month and making $9/month of of it.
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55/ so if you're saying "but clearly the market wants this", my response is * no, not really
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56/ I quote tweet so that I can make a coherent thread that is easy for my followers to read and understand. I AM speaking to a room, NOT to an individual.https://twitter.com/RobHaines905/status/1253018829304860677 …
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57/ Dude, people do all sorts of things that pay nothing, or close to it, for all sorts of reasons. If B.A. wants to write terrible books that almost no one reads, and earn $9/month from it, yes, obviously there is no law of physics that prevents that.https://twitter.com/RobHaines905/status/1253018829304860677 …
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58/ On Writing by Stephen King Story by Robert McKee Creating Character Arcs by Weiland There are a dozen others but titles escape me ; maybe later I can take a picture of my shelf. https://twitter.com/CDan1333/status/1253018320464482304 …
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60/ as I've explained three times already (This is now #4) I'm not bashing him, I'm bashing bad art & bad technique. Why? Because Quality is an objective thing, and it is obedience to God to produce good art, and a sin to produce trash and call it good.https://twitter.com/RobHaines905/status/1253024897657380869 …
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61/ well said! https://twitter.com/CDan1333/status/1253024763875917830 …
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62/ Exactly! One of the many failures of B.A. is that he tries to do action, but doesn't. Hero "repels attacks". Could be describing lawyers in a corporate merger, a space frigate with force fields, or a clash of steel sword against wooden shield.https://twitter.com/ctdonath/status/1253026353210941440 …
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63/ Contrast BA's terrible impossible-to-picture-because-nothing-is-described writing to that of Charles R Tannerpic.twitter.com/wLHpnREI04
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65/ how does BA write action? we know what color the dirt is (though that doesn't matter), we know that the torches "gasp" (tho it doesn't matter), we know that the pit reeked (tho it doesn't matter), we know that the hero's footwork "stirred the bones" (tho it doesn't matter)
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66/ and when we come to the ACTION - the ACTION which pulprev loudly and proudly asserts is the core of all fiction, what do we find? "the opponents ... clashed" "the demon's attacks ... dwindled" "the knight...counterattacked" thousands of words on lighting, dirt, smell >
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67/ and zero words describing the ACTUAL ACTION this is like porn that spends 50 pages talking about the candles, the shape of the sofa, how it was that the lusty widow happened to be home alone...and then says "he banged her"
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68/ now, let's look at Tanner: Yakran rushes Tumithak ...a terrific blow, dodged under Tumithak on one knee...another sweep of the enemy's sword .. fall back a step...lunging rushes around the table, close to the pit, now far away a plan! ... forced to the pit a lunge!
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69/ This is PURE ACTION. No skulls underfoot being "stirred", no "feathery demons", no "like an iguana head, covered in chitin". It's a STORY, not an excitable 6 year old recounting a scene from a movie.
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70/ there's an old saw that bad writing is * X happened * then Y happened * then Z happened but good writing is * X happened * therefore Y happened * therefore Z happenedhttps://twitter.com/SunglassPri/status/1253030415037878275 …
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71/ BA has enthusiasm that, were he willing to listen to advice, might let him become a good writer with several years of practice An editor, tho, is not sufficient. It is not merely a matter of removing the bad - he must also be taught to write.https://twitter.com/sirgawain2100/status/1253030722446651392 …
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72/ side thread from accomplished and actually really good author
@JASutherlandBks ; will certainly contain lots of good info!https://twitter.com/JASutherlandBks/status/1253030894752989184 …Show this thread -
73/ 1) read many books on writing 2) read many novels, both inside your genre and out 3) cultivate high standards 4) learn to cringe hard at the garbage you generate ; feel burning shame and vow to understand what caused it and not repeat those mistakeshttps://twitter.com/sirgawain2100/status/1253031303664058368 …
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74/ lol that's not exactly how I'd phrase it, but you're not wronghttps://twitter.com/SojoXX/status/1253031322114637824 …
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75/ maybe at some point I'll rewrite that first page from BA there are a lot of different sins: - vidya stats in corner - vidya emphasis on weapon choice - misplaced emphasis on polygons and lighting, not action but even stuff as simple as word choice is terrible >>
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76/ Words must be correct, and also precise. Technically, and emotionally. The fight is in a "pit" - an indentation or hole. And yet it has a ceiling. So - a cave, not a pit. The demon is feathery (light? soft?) yet covered in chitin (a hard shell).
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77/ The demon's attacks "dwindle" ( "slow" is a far better word here). The demon "heaved for breath". Heave means "lift" or "rise". The demon's shoulders may heave, or the demon may struggles FOR breath, but it does not "heave for breath".
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78/ The knight steps back and the power armor "gave the backstep a reach of fifteen feet". "Reach" is all wrong here. The backstep is achieved, not attempted or measured. A .50 caliber bullet "ripped through the air". I've shot a .50. It was concussive. It was loud. But ...
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79/ it didn't "ripe through the air". Bullets are, from a human PoV, instanteous. Ripping has a time element. Clothes rip. Sails rip. A roof might rip as Godzilla tears through it. A collapsing crane could rip through an office. But bullets do not "rip" air.
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80/ "The heaving combatants stirred the bones at their feet". "Stirred" implies intention, but not much of it. I stir tea. I stir pasta. Bones, though? The writing implies attention - that the hero is taking care that the bones are well distributed in his chai.
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81/ The hero TRIPS over the bones. The skulls are SCATTERED. Shards of bone SPLINTER, unseen, under the hero's boots. A dust of crushed bone RISES from where the demon is thrown back into them You can call READER'S attention to the bones while not implying the HERO's focus
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