4/ The accountant called me, at home, at 9:30pm. "Travis, this data is all bad. I don't think the checking accounts are actually balanced." ok, well, I'm at home in my reading chair. Tomorrow I'll look at the data.
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5/ "Travis, you don't understand. The assets aren't right. The checking account isn't right. The category total for insurance payments isn't right. NONE OF THESE NUMBERS MAKES SENSE." ok, well, I'm at home in my reading chair. Tomorrow I'll look at the data.
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6/ "Travis, you're not listening. I don't know what's going on with these numbers. It's almost as if your bookkeeper just stopped balancing the books halfway through the year. ALL OF THE NUMBERS ARE WRONG." Yes, I get it. I'll dig into it.
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7/ "Travis, you aren't panicking. I don't know why. THE NUMBERS ARE WRONG." Well, Sarah, would the situation be improved in some way if I panicked? Because if you can explain that things would be better, then I'm willing to perform "panic" for you. WOULD THAT BE BETTER?
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8/ " <long silence> no" Oh? Ok. Well, in that case, tomorrow I'll look at the data. Good night."
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9/ So, anyway. Trump said something. Pelosi said something. Would the situation be better if you panicked / screamed F bombs / posted a meme on Facebook / picked a fight with a bunch of your old friends? No? Then don't perform panic. Chill the !@# out and cook a tasty meal
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10/ The bookkeeping error was nothing so sophisticated as a spreadsheet problem. The bookkeeper had just ... stopped balancing the checking account halfway through the year, but thought she had ( ?????????????? ). https://twitter.com/JKP_Discovery/status/1207695762928390145 …
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11/ I went in to the office the next day (a Saturday), opened up the old checking statements, compared them to our accounting software (Gnucash), walked through the year until there was a discrepancy (June), and noted that her last annotation of the paper statements was May >>>
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12/ So then I spent 6 or 8 hours balancing the books for the rest of the year, pushing the correct data out through 31 Dec, then re-submitted to the accountant. On Monday I told the bookkeeper her error, my fix, and asked her to pay more attention in the future.
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13/ She was baffled. "I SWEAR I balanced the books all the way through the year". Well, ok, S___, let me open up the three ring binder and I can walk you threw your annotations in your handwriting through May, and my annotations in my handwriting, in yesterday's ink...
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14/ Her: <panicked look> "No, that can't be right. I did it ! I ..." me: <shrug> Well, I can show you the books if you want, but I was here for 8 hours over the weekend fixing it, so I'm pretty sure I'm correct.
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