I appreciate the fact that norms differ. (Was that not clear?) I also appreciate that this is a tricky problem.
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Replying to @random_eddie
it was not clear the only think I heard was: * if you want the norms that prevail 95% of the time, spend 3x as much money and don't go to 90% of the restaurants * the reason norms differ is some assholes hate children
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Replying to @MorlockP
Sorry for leaving that impression. Yes, it's tricky. You've had many threads about the issue in the past, grappling towards some resolution. I have a thought here, but it's not a very happy one.
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Replying to @random_eddie @MorlockP
(Set aside for the moment whether the OP's case actually represents differing norms between you and I - I think there's too much ambiguity to know) +
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Replying to @random_eddie @MorlockP
Say that there really was a difference between yours and mine, and that it was a Big Deal. Perhaps it's about loud pipes, perhaps it's about kids on planes where there's less room for compromise. +
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Replying to @random_eddie @MorlockP
I think in some circumstances, the only option is separation, and if that's not feasible, then war.
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Replying to @random_eddie
separation is good but what I keep pressing for is what method you propose to limit your norm of "if the noise shows up, then the noise averse should leave" ? if I leave McD and go to Chilis, and the grandmother follows me, then I go to Longhorn, and GM follows, then sushi...
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Replying to @MorlockP
>what method you propose to limit your norm Norms evolve, and they pool, and they pool separately. Some of those places will accommodate granny, some you. And in all of them it's not necessarily obvious - or even settled! - what the prevailing norms are.
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Replying to @random_eddie @MorlockP
And norms should be defended! You were defending yours. That's laudable! I was defending mine (also laudable!). Hopefully we can find common ground ("... maybe we don't know the whole story") rather than do battle.
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Replying to @random_eddie
I don't want to do battle about the norm of dB at Chilis. I want to find common ground on totalizing vs non totalizing meta-norms.
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I want to find a process that you will tolerate that lets minorities get what they want, instead of a tablespoon of feces being added to EVERY cask of wine.
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