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MorlockP's profile
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs
@MorlockP

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ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs

@MorlockP

Two-time Prometheus award-winning hard science fiction author. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B005JPPMS6  Learn how to homestead https://www.amazon.com/dp/B093BC3K1T 

Aristillus Crater, Luna
amazon.com/dp/B005JPPMS6
Joined June 2012

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    1. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

      ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs Retweeted Amy

      thinking about this question and LOL - I think I see a correlation between my telling tales of fistfights yesterday, and the fact that on D-Day when the news broke my father's father ran down to the USMC recruiter to join the infantry and go kill Nipshttps://twitter.com/amytheartist/status/1166174282944307202 …

      ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs added,

      Amy @amytheartist
      Decided I'm going to start asking men what their grandfathers were up to during WWII in order to assess their genetic strength
      9 replies 1 retweet 16 likes
      Show this thread
    2. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

      oh, so this reminds me that I didn't yet tell the story of how I punched a hole in a guy's windshield (spoiler: no, I'm not remotely as bad ass as that story title implies) I was at the Lowes in Woburn MA. Parked the truck, had a tape measure in my right hand. Walking to door.

      1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
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    3. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

      My hands aren't God-awful huge. but they're big. So the steel-bodied tape measure is pretty much entirely in the palm of my hand. Walk down the parking aisle, now crossing the strip of asphalt towards front door. Guy in a pickup is in the diagonal-paint-slashed no parkking zone

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
      Show this thread
    4. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

      and he's rolling forward at 1mph I'm crossing the asphalt towards the front door, in a cross walk, at 1mph we're each 50 feet away from the door ...and it's obvious that if one of us doesn't stop, we're going to intersect in x,y,z, and t coordinates

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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      ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

      but I'm in a cross walk. Where I should be. And he's in a no parking / no standing / no anything zone. Where he shouldn't be. So I keep walking. Like the Stamper's in Ken Kessey's "Sometimes a Great Notion" : never give an inch!

      11:53 AM - 7 Oct 2019
      • 6 Likes
      • zywiec Wintermutt JDangerously Alea Iacta Est Corn Smut 🍂 The Pectrichory 🍄
      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
        1. New conversation
        2. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          so then we're each 20' away then each 10' then each 5' !@# Michael Bolton. He's the one who sucks. Why should I stop walking. So ... then ...

          1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
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        3. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          We intersect. His front wheel rolls over my right foot. His window is down. I'm 18" away from the seated driver. I say "YOU ARE PARKED. ON. MY. FOOT. MOVE!" And for emphasis on the word "move!" I BANG HARD on his windshield. With my right fist.

          1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
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        4. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          ...which is wrapped around a steel tape measure. With, it turns out, 1/4 of one inch of steel sticking out the bottom of my fist. And that corner of the tape measure hits his windshield. With the entire force of my hammer fist. <SMASH> His windshield shatters.

          2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
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        5. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          and there is a 1/2" HOLE right through the windshield where the tape measure hit. And there's a decent bit of my blood around the hole.

          2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
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        6. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          But I don't even know this. I just STARE at him. And he BLANCHES. And puts the truck into reverse, and backs off my foot. And I resume my [ straight line ] path to the front door of Lowes.

          1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
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        7. ⓘ Dogs don't have thumbs‏ @MorlockP 7 Oct 2019

          (it all happened so quickly that I didn't realize that I was cut until later, and I'm sure he didn't realize that I had a tape measure in my hand - he just thought he had had the bad luck to run into an insanely strong lunatic)

          2 replies 0 retweets 17 likes
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        8. End of conversation

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