You're not seeing it from the inside, so to speak, from what the experience feels like and what art about it can mean to people who have either gone through that phase or known people who did.
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There are things I did in my life that felt complex on the inside but were immoral, these points are not at odds. In fact, there's a theory that says much of immorality is just that--the external representation of inconsistent internal state.
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Replying to @orthonormalist @sonyasupposedly and
As a specific example: I basically left my college girlfriend hanging for a month while I tried to figure out what to do, because I was confused. Complex? Yes. Uncertain? Yes. Amoral? Absolutely. Was it excused by her equivalently bad behavior? Nope.
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exactly. the phrase "flawed but lovable" is half right. Or, stated another way, the "lovable" part is often used (perhaps with intention, perhaps not) as a trap, to keep the victims in the blast zone.
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Replying to @MorlockP @orthonormalist and
(and, no, before there's any cheap psychoanalysis, I've never been a victim of this particular flavor of crap-show ; I've just seen women around me at various jobs do it)
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Replying to @MorlockP @orthonormalist and
All of this is filed under pre-packaged discussion 83-f: person: "it's complicated" me: "people always say 'it's complicated', but it never is"
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Replying to @MorlockP @orthonormalist and
9 times out of 10 "complication" is a "code smell" of epicycles (i.e. bullshit) things are sometimes hard, but they're almost always simple
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Replying to @MorlockP @orthonormalist and
maybe "conflicted" is a better word than "complex" for some of these states you know right from wrong, a very loud part of you wants to do right, you're ignoring another part of you that sees it all ending badly because you can't cope it's internal gridlock
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Replying to @selentelechia @MorlockP and
(Not trying to put words or implications in sonya's mouth, trying to figure out the appeal these types have for me) -I empathize deeply with the impulse, almost seemed admirable when I was at my worst that someone had the balls to go all out and do what I wanted to do myself
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Replying to @selentelechia @MorlockP and
-there's relief in watching a much bigger disaster than you are still receive love, attention, etc -impulsivity+self-loathing is a dark and destructive place to be, I can see a heroic arc in learning to value yourself enough to take care of your long-term interests
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all improvements are a hero-arc
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