wonder whether people who are aggressive, interpersonally, realize they're basically disincentivizing people who are more relaxed from interacting with them think there are short term wins from aggression but my hunch is the long term costs are substantial and cumulative
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Replying to @eigenrobot
define "aggressive" ? it's not a crisp boundary, but an infinite continuum ... and your argument applies to anything except the absolute most passive end of it, I think theory 1: aggressiveness is a filter, and those who make it past are more rewarding (to the aggressive person
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Replying to @MorlockP @eigenrobot
theory 2: aggressiveness in conversation is correlated with other beneficial things - like sickle cell anemia and malaria resistance. E.g. one puts up with an aggressive VC friend bc he also throws off money and jobs
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Replying to @MorlockP @eigenrobot
and orthogonal point: your framing is implicitly "why do they CHOOSE to do this totally optional thing?" when in fact it's probably maybe fairly characterological and not something they can turn off ("why do tall people keeping BEING TALL man!?!?")
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Replying to @eigenrobot
concur, you did not, but I think that this wording > wonder whether people who are aggressive, interpersonally, realize they're basically disincentivizing does IMPLICITLY suggest / imply it bc one might ask "wonder whether people who wear perfume realize..." but less likely >
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to ask "wonder whether people who are Asian / black / tall / poor realize..."
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