it's frustrating how hard it is to lose the last ~30 pounds, but my life has improved immeasurably since I stopped trying to accept my (previous) weight and accepted that I wanted to be thin
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oops I should have included an ED trigger warning. if reading about weight stuff upsets you, don't read this thread please!
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anyway: I am 5'4" and weigh ~150 pounds. my highest scale number was ~190, in summer 2017. my lowest, around 2012 (end of high school), was ~120
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I lost 40 pounds through calorie-counting over the course of a year (I love you
@cronometer! best service out there, no contest! learned about it from the guy who runs@ketochow IIRC) then I maintained for almost a year, although I gained 10 pounds during the holidays
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gradually, gradually, my fiancé and I have been exercising more. we're still terribly inconsistent, but our overall lifestyle has slowly gotten more active. and it feels like the lazy periods have gotten progressively shorter!
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three things I've learned over the past two years 1) Sonya eating primarily fat and protein = best Sonya, happiest Sonya, most satiated Sonya 2) I feel much more at home in my body when I'm thinner, even only by ~40 pounds 3) regular physical activity = best Sonya (duh)
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4) one of the hardest things about exercising: I can look back at my countless past attempts to make it a habit and say, "see, you've always failed before, why bother trying again?" no! fuck you, defeatist voice in my head! I will figure it out eventually
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5) another thing I learned! APPROPRIATE PORTION SIZES calorie-counting was an incredible way to learn the amount of food, like in terms of physical volume, that is appropriate for my size and activity level both generally and re: specific types of foods
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a couple of factors that I thought about when committing to weight loss and lifestyle chance in 2017 1) would I be implicitly judging others by losing weight? I want to be healthy, with good habits solidly established before I turn 30, but the motivator was definitely appearance
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I hate hurting people's feelings, and I've always taken body positivity seriously (remember when I got dunked on for saying that small penis jokes are unethical? I still believe that btw!) I was distressed that me wanting to be thin could be seen as an indirect insult to others
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all self improvement is an implicit insult to others, if viewed correctly "going to college? guess you think there's something wrong with me, huh?" "losing weight? moving to the city? getting sober?"
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Replying to @MorlockP @sonyasupposedly and
"correctly" but this is crab bucket thinking you're not saying that Bob is terrible for continuing to drink you don't know Bob's utility function, and are not saying anything about him; you're making a decision for YOU. Bob, OTOH, would have you harm you to salve his ego.
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Replying to @MorlockP
a thought along those lines is what brought me around "should I sacrifice my own health and wellbeing over this?" "hmm, now that you put it that way... no"
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