Wife & I were joking around about starting a "Male Revue - Dad Bod" show for women who are into that kind of thing. This started me doing ALL sorts of 'acts'
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*takes off shirt* *hangs shirt up since I can wear it again* *unbuttons cargo shorts* *pulls back out while taking off New Balance sneakers*
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*spins around pole* *notices pole makes a squeaky noise* *leaves stage & comes back with WD40 and a screwdriver* *fixes pole*
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*middle of routine, notices people coming in* *yells at newcomers to shut the door since they're letting the cold air out*
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*seductively eases into Lay-Z-Boy* *falls asleep* *DJ stops the music* *wakes up & yells at the DJ that I wasn't asleep and was listening to the song*
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*Has a "Sexy Car Wash"* *Yells at other dads about leaving the water running* *grumbles about how nobody is using a chamois correctly*
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*gets $20 stuffed into boxers* *grabs wallet to see if he has any $1s to make change*
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*perfectly cooks a steak, on stage, wearing nothing but a 'Licensed to Grill' apron*
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Replying to @ItsRobbAllen
If you start dropping pics of yourself with your shirt off I’m blocking you
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had me at "yourself"
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