2/ "with a !@#-ing HASH TAG !"https://twitter.com/mr_archenemy/status/1131976620389076998 …
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with a hashtag, if memory serves
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absolute genius
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The last year I was in Girl Scouts (~10 yrs old I guess) I managed to slice open my knuckles with a plastic knife while we were soap carving literally as the leader said the words "well the girls can't cut themselves with these knives".
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Breaking a rib while assembling my son's bed frame. Person, expecting an interesting story: "Oh hey, I hear you broke your rib? How'd you do it." Me: I hate you.
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Falling down a stair. Not stair*s*. Stair. One step. Fibula fracture, soft tissue damage. Have a deck repair plate & a dozen titanium screws, & a really embarrassing story. My parish pastor: "...you should tell people something else."
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