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3/ Another thing Bad Farmhand did was press press press press press. "FH, use nails" Deckscrews are better. "No, please use nails" Why? Deckscrews hold better. "Bc it's the norm" So you're saying there's no good reason "No, I'm saying..." repeat x10 min "ok, use screws"
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4/ I am one of the most self-confident / aggressive / unwilling to take crap people I've ever met. ...and Bad Farmhand pressured me into doing things his way several times. Now imagine a passive, easy-to-intimidate woman in my place.... whew lads
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5/ The problem is not "we freeze in the face of adversity"; the problem is "grifters, sociopaths, and conmen use plausibly-deniable tricks to gaslight us into thinking adversity is not adversity". https://twitter.com/PixelCanuck/status/1113808751272718336 …
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Any violation of social norms breaks the OODA loop. If you didn't prethink your response, you have to play catch up. Much of good social skills is like a martial art. Generalizing situations down to a small set of common patterns you can respond to.
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Exactly what I tried to explain to the husband last night. I'm a strong independent woman who's had her OODA loop broken more than once and I'm still kinda salty about it.
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