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  1. prije 9 sati

    I deleted all social media today but fuuuuuck I just couldn’t kill the jokes on this account. Couldn’t do it. Goodnight to those that make this worth it.

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  2. prije 9 sati

    Does it even matter if I’m around?

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    A few bites of celery, a few fistfuls of M&Ms. It’s really all about balance.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    Excuse us, we need to go be alone together now. *Takes coffee mug to a more intimate setting.

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  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 10 sati

    Gonzo definitely fucked chickens and we were all okay with it

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  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. sij

    Not every argument is about you.

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  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    You look like the kind of person who considers dinner at The Olive Garden a big night out

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  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Imagine thinking the Super Bowl halftime show matters

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    We can tell by your sex tweets that you aren’t getting laid

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  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    1. velj

    Not to get political but The Old Spaghetti Factory kicks the Olive Garden’s ass

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  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    Never underestimate the online mobilization power of a woman with big gunt energy

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  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    Love yourself, fuckface.

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  13. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    You *clean up well. *crop

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  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    Emotions are the worst decision makers.

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  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 19 sati

    My fave sexy DM vids feature an off camera husband yelling from outside a locked bathroom door, "Is everything ok in there, babe?"

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  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 18 sati

    Listen, I'm here to give you guys the same advice I give my children.

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  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 16 sati

    Everybody thinks they're an "us." Nobody wants to be a "them."

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  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    5. velj

    You: I'm my own worst crtic. Me: Let me know if you need a worster one.

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  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    6. velj

    Man up, kid. Feelings are what we lie to girls about having.

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  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    Who would have ever guessed we'd need a dumpster for cum

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