Molson Hart

deal of my life with a small 30 store chain by repacking a 20' container of defective merchandise. I would get up early in the morning, hire illegal immigrants, and bring them back to my house and we'd repackage all the defective merchandise. Eventually, they realized 6/n

They made more money and it was easier to do landscapign so they stopped agreeing to work for me. Fuck. So me and the illegals who were too old to do landscapign would do it. Anyways, that's how I got to $50k in sales. I digress. In early 2013, I was devleoping new product 7/n

And I was feeling pretty good about myself, so I went to participate in a startup competition with my college. It was called DEN, for Dartmouth Entrepreneurial Network and it was the Shark Tank. I made a presentation with a bunch of slides about how I was going to build a big 8/n

company. Blah blah blah. The competition was at Yale, so I drove the 1.5-2 hours in rush hour to get there. The problem was, that morning my mom had fed me a ton of weird grain-y bran pancakes. This was before I figured out that this stuff gave me diarrhea. 9/n

So, predictably, in the middle of New Haven downtown. I started to completely shit my pants. Fortunately there was a black garbage bag in the back seat so I grabbed taht and kind of used it to poop into in the front seat at a stop light while I was driving 10/n

#STARTUPS. Okay, so now my pants are totally soiled and I've even got poop running down my legs. I frantically find some place to park and as I remember it was on a side street kind of in a field nearby Yale. I take like a 10 minute break just to gather my thougths 11/n

I am totally covered in shit. Okay, I'm still going to give this presentation. I leave the car there (even though I have no right ot park there) and walk towards Yale campus. All the bathrooms and doors to the campus are locked because it is after 7 or something. 12/n

Finally, I see a female professor darting out of one of the doors. I try to go in after she leaves. "You can't go in there." "Look, I really need to go to the bathroom." "you can't" "Look, just trust me...I need to go." "ugh...fine, but make it quick." 13/n