Milford Brimley’s beard taste like your mom

@MilfordBrimlee

Supporter of adult film and free speech. Lover of Star Wars, hater of The Last Jedi (not a Star Wars movie)

United States
Vrijeme pridruživanja: kolovoz 2017.

Tweetovi

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    This is how every weather report should be done

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  4. Looked cute, might delete later

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  5. 2. velj
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  6. Miami Sound Machine would have been better

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  7. Hallmark should sell “Sorry for the bad sex” cards so my wife can give me one once a week

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  8. Well this settles it, the chicken came before the egg

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  9. See what you did Karen? You just had to go on Spring Break last year! 🤦‍♂️

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  10. Wife sleeping past 9am on a Saturday Me: I’ll leave her alone I sleep in past 8am on a Saturday Text from wife: Are you ever getting up?!?!?!?

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  11. How we took Selfie's when i was a teenager...🙄

    Ovo je potencijalno osjetljiv multimedijski sadržaj. Saznajte više
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  14. I’m pretty sure my chances of winning the lottery are better than my chances of getting head from my wife, and if I won the lottery my chances of winning again would still be better than my chances of getting head

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  15. People: How is it still January? Same people: How is it already December?

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  16. I’m considering Live Tweeting the sex I wont be having on Valentines Day

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  17. “Oh theres my pussy, you’re so cute, is that the spot right there? Yeah let me rub that for you!” - Me petting and talking to my cats when I get home

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  19. For sale: 8 year old and 5 year old children that broke my fucking TV!!!

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  20. When I was 13 my best friend gave me a few dirty magazines he “borrowed” from his step-dad. Sometimes I like to jerk it to those mags as my own way of taking a walk down mammary lane

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  21. Its a sad day, the only Karen on my hall pass list has gone full blown Karen

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