Michael Palladino

@MikeyPalla480

Show Runner/Freelance Writer/Storyteller/Moody Prick

Phoenix, AZ
Joined June 2010
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  1. Pinned Tweet
    23 Aug 2018

    My parents had what you might call a "Rocky Marriage," and by that I mean they hired an Apollo Creed impersonator to officiate their wedding.

    1 like
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  2. 19 Nov 2018

    Here's a podcast I've been enjoying. Listen to all the episodes a few times.

    It’s @xtrashpanda (The Bro Show) day on Taste Buddies. Tune in for opinions on ice, Red Dead Redemption 2 and much more! Find us on Stitcher, Spotify, iTunes and wherever you find podcasts!
    3 likes
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  3. 13 Sep 2018

    Putting all your self-worth into other people's opinion of you is like pouring all your hard earned money into the stock market while you have zero dollars in the goddamn bank.

    1 retweet 3 likes
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  4. 21 Aug 2018

    Don't think of it as therapy. Think of it as researching and implementing eco-friendly, sustainable forms of Big Dick Energy that are available domestically.

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  5. Retweeted
    13 Aug 2018

    Start the week off right with on Episode 131! via

    1 retweet 4 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    25 Jun 2018

    social media is such a great place to mute new people

    32 replies 549 retweets 6,581 likes
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  7. 22 Jun 2018

    "They're separating children from their parents and we need to fix that right away." "Well, maybe their parents shouldn't have broken the law!" ***** "They're shooting children in school and we need to fix that right away." "Look, people are gonna break laws, ok?"

    4 likes
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  8. 8 Jun 2018

    I've got a head like a cheap blender, just like a lot of us. Shit gets stuck in the blades. We keep holding down the button, overheating the motor because we just want it all to process. Let things cool down, try to dilute the mixture, push the button again when you're ready.

    1 retweet 3 likes
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  9. 6 Jun 2018

    Scratching your head in disbelief when a famous person with money kills themself is like saying "I can't believe that house burned down even though it was painted such a pretty color."

    2 retweets 14 likes
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  10. 5 Jun 2018

    🎶 I've got the brains You've got the looks Let's make lots of people on this bus feel uncomfortable 🎶

    1 retweet 7 likes
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  11. 22 May 2018

    ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED: Drunk open miker yelled "FUCK MICHAEL PALLADINO" while being forcibly removed from a show I wasn't even attending.

    1 reply 3 retweets 15 likes
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  12. Retweeted
    11 May 2018

    is audio only this week with .

    2 retweets 2 likes
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  13. Retweeted
    29 Apr 2018

    I thought the first rule of comedy was "Let Laurie Metcalf do the heavy lifting."

    first rule of comedy: NEVER target someone more famous than U who is in the audience. U will lose the entire crowd.
    444 replies 3,535 retweets 37,976 likes
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  14. Retweeted
    29 Apr 2018

    Dennis Miller and Roseanne Barr will ruin Michele Wolf’s career in 1989

    16 replies 97 retweets 432 likes
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  15. 20 Apr 2018

    The state flag of Florida is a stepdad sleeping on a couch next to a swamp cooler.

    3 likes
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  16. 5 Apr 2018

    A one year open miker with a terrible stage name told me he "fucks [my] girlfriend while [I'm] at work," challenged me to a fight and then listed all the mics where I could find him this week. That's not how you promote, dude.

    2 likes
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  17. Retweeted
    30 Mar 2018

    Day Two of

    2 retweets 4 likes
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  18. 30 Mar 2018

    I'll watch John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf and Sara Gilbert in anything and I'm not gonna let some out-of-touch Pizzagate believer stop me from doing so.

    1 like
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  19. 25 Mar 2018

    When I wear a sleeveless shirt I look like that kid you grew up with who liked to throw rocks at trains.

    1 like
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  20. Retweeted
    24 Mar 2018

    Kick off right with Hello!, our opening ceremony and adult easter egg hunt at 5pm 3/29 at . Win cool prizes & meet fest comics. Free to enter! Don't forgot those easter baskets!

    1 retweet
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