i don't really talk about my private life too much, so here's some facts. i'm 38 years old and i've never had a real girlfriend. i was a virgin until just a few years ago. that's right, i didn't have sex until my 30s. needless to say, i'm not exactly popular with the ladies.
-
-
Show this thread
-
when i was still in my mid-20s, this was a problem for me. i'm not bad-looking and think i'm a pretty decent person, but "for some reason" i simply could not get women to date me. i tried every online dating site there is, but women wouldn't even respond to my emails.
Show this thread -
notice i put "for some reason" in quotes up there. that's because i'm socially awkward and i was painfully shy for many years. the reason women wouldn't date me was because of my personality. in other words, the problem wasn't women. the problem was me.
Show this thread -
however, i had lots of female friends in college, and some of them are still friends with me 20 years later. so even though i didn't have a girlfriend and didn't have sex, i had women i could talk to about my problems, and i could listen to them as well.
Show this thread -
in other words, my social group was supportive and helpful, and kept me from getting too bitter about the issues i was having. but what if i hadn't had those female friends in my life? what if i'd sought out angry, lonely men like me for advice? what might have happened then?
Show this thread -
ultimately, i take responsibility for my own personality quirks, and i accept that i'm simply not the kind of guy that women are attracted to. at no point in my life did i ever blame women for my problems. i was never angry at women for not dating me, i was angry at myself.
Show this thread -
but it could have gone so differently. when i read about those incel groups, it scares me because i see how close i might have been to going down that path. and i'm thankful for my friends who have stuck with me for so long, despite my personal issues.
Show this thread -
at this point in my life, i know i'll probably never have a girlfriend and i'll certainly never get married. and you know what? that's fine. my self worth is not based on how many women i've slept with, and i don't judge myself based on what society expects from me.
Show this thread -
but i have no idea what to do about men who adopt such toxic views about women and sex. how do you fix that kind of behavior? how do you counter that kind of twisted worldview? i don't know, and i honestly think it's going to get worse before it gets better.
Show this thread
End of conversation
New conversation -
-
-
I've been thinking about this thread a lot. (It's brave. Thank you.) I'm very sorry to announce that you've inspired a book I now I have to write. LOOK WHAT YOU DID, MIKE
-
thank you! being the inspiration for a book sounds pretty cool!
End of conversation
New conversation -
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.